If you’re married and have been asked the question, welcome to the club! In fact, I caught myself red-handed too, and in my case I didn’t know what else to ask after a while of talking (it’s really not because I truly care about them. I’m sorry.) But being exposed quite often to the situation, I’ve learnt that it is not actually a good question I want to answer to. I’m sure I’m not the only person who feels like that. And I’m writing this to hold myself accountable. And I encourage us, well-intended and good-hearted people, to stop asking the question for various reasons:
People just don’t want kids. Period. There are people who don’t like kids. And believe it or not, there are also people out there who love children but want none for themselves. It’s like we admire people who do bungee jumping, but we swear we will never try ourselves. And we are right, maybe they will change their mind in the future. And by the time they realize that, it’s too late for them. I’m sure they will suffer their own choice.
People don’t want kids yet. And this is my answer. Then the following advice usually is that I should have kids while i’m still young. It’s a good advice. 100 percent agreed! But I’m not ready. Actually maybe I am. I could handle one, two, or three babies right now. I’d dress them in jumpsuits made from Swiffer sweeping-cloth-like material and have them crawl around the floor so I wouldn’t have to do any sweeping. Oh, I’m already a horrible Mama.
People have been trying but without success. A friend of mine confessed how hard it was to make a baby after telling us his good news that his wife was pregnant. I don’t have any comments. It’s not easy. Period. The question will only trigger annoyance if not emotional pain.
Health issues. This is the scenario which the question will cut deep into the open wound. I don’t know how we can even forgive ourselves for being so dumb to ask when we find that out.
These are all the reasons I could think of for now. And if we think about it, nothing good will ever come out by asking people that. It won’t change anything but their mood. A lot of people are really nice and try not to make a fuss about it, hence they just feed us stuffs that they think we could accept (like me. You’re welcome :)). But there are people who won’t give a shit about us and just shut us up with a response that leave us feeling uncomfortable and awkward for the rest of our lives.